I Left Indonesia

June 23, 2018

Yes, you heard right. I am finally moving out of Indonesia
That's the reason why I have been selling a lot of items, and that's why I was so preoccupied with life for the past 2 years because I was trying to move
And as some of you did guess, I move to my favorite country ever, Japan, in Tokyo
So what's the reason? Let me be a little bit honest with you on this post

I have never had a chance to study abroad, and I always wanted to study in Japan for as long as I could remember. However, due to some sudden personal circumstances, my parents couldn't afford my overseas university back then. And we all know, overseas study especially Japan are really expensive
I was devastated
I blamed my life
I hated my fate
And I didn't prepare my life for a scholarship either when the time came
That's why I studied at uni in Jakarta though it's still one of the top private universities in Indonesia. Most of my friends asked me back then why someone like me didn't study abroad and it was hard to tell people when your life was down. I could only tell a few closest friends of mine after years and now I have no shame to tell it when people ask about it. I am perfectly healed

However, because I was busy with my life, I lost the sight of myself and buried deep down one of my deepest wish. Every time my friends came back from overseas for either working or studying matter, I had to gulp down the jealousy. I knew I traveled a lot, but travel is not the same as living there for real
I had things to do in Jakarta, I had responsibilities, and I had my work

Blogging work became my comfort zone and I am blessed to say that my work is doing so well. I have been in this industry for more than 5 years, and I have most of the things in my life thanks to blogging. I can afford things I couldn't buy, I can go to places I wanted to be, I could try any beauty products I wish to have. Such a great life isn't it?
And in fact, living in Jakarta at the moment is not bad
But after years of being pampered with a comfort zone, I was curious about what else I should do in life. I thought to myself :

"Wait, is that it? Will I just work when I have jobs, travel when I have nothing to do, do beauty routine regularly, accumulate my savings, get married when meeting the right person, and buy properties + settle down?"

I know I craved for a normal life, and it sounded so normal, and it doesn't sound so bad, but is that it?
Will I grow old later and realize that I have not done things that I wanted to do?
Will I say to my children later in the future 'you should be grateful I could afford your overseas study because my parents couldn't do the same to me' in jealousy?
Will I have this dark envy and regret everytime people say they've been to places?

And so I questioned myself. What holds me here?

All the excuses like family, friends, responsibilities, and not enough money are after all just excuse. I said I couldn't leave my parents alone. I couldn't afford it yet. I had to pay this and that first. And bla bla bla. I realize it's an excuse for me to not go. If I truly want to, I will do whatever it takes to go, right?

What I was afraid the most is after I have worked so hard to build my career in Jakarta, I won't be able to provide the same lifestyle and income in other countries
I was afraid to lose savings that I had accumulated over the past few years. Because I wanted an instant money from parents or anyone to provide for me. I don't want to pay by myself because I am stingy and I know I worked hard for that

'Others get their school paid by their parents, why do I have to pay by myself? Why do I have to work harder than the rest?'

I was afraid I won't be able to work as a blogger after that, I might use all of the savings, go penniless after that, and start work again from the scratch, from a basic salary that will never be enough to cover my lifestyle
I was afraid to lose all of it

That's why I delayed, and delayed, and delayed
But as I delayed, I realized how time flew so fast and I spent years of just rambling alone and wish for something that I never dared to do. Until one day I just say, fuck it. I paid the school, applying for Student Visa, and even gave my dog for adoption because I couldn't take care of him in Japan. I went to Japan a few times after that to check schools, found an apartment, purchased some furniture, moved away my clothes and cosmetics, and did other stuff. Though I had given away A LOT, I still had more than 100kgs items shipped lol

I even had to ship out my huge iMac lol

As I am typing this, I finally have finished cleaning and sorting out my items in the right order.
I have prepared all the money to support my school and living expenses so in case the worst thing happens, which I won't be able to have jobs as much as I did in Jakarta, I still could survive for a few years (I am pretty paranoid about money matter!)
But hey, I am going to study in Tokyo with my own personal money, debt free, and worry-free. For now, I don't have difficulty buying rice and sashimi so I guess I'm good lol

And my school for the summer term will start on 9th July. Which is due in 2 weeks
I am taking just language school and not master degree. Both my school and apartment are located in central Tokyo
It's not like I won't be coming back to Jakarta anyway, I have some stuff and work probably in Jakarta so I might go back and forth as usual BUT I am changing my base to Tokyo

After all, I don't think anyone will notice much that I am moving because I was not always in Jakarta and even when I was there, I didn't go out much haha
And anywayyyy, here's my current profile on Instagram

Based in Tokyo, and living in my dream :) 

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  1. Oh! Stella, you're so brave. Congratulations on moving to your dream country. I know you worked very hard to be where you are now. Thank you for always inspiring us to never give up on our dreams.

    Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

  2. So happy for you!
    Hopefully, i anything goes well, i will go study at japan too as well. but right now, it's kinda down when it's come to money.

  3. Stella, you have been an amazing person who has inspired me all the time. I am very happy with your decision to pursue your happiness and more than that, you are brave enough to risk everything to find a bigger world out there. That is amazing!
    I wish you find your true happiness there, your ultimate freedom, and i wish you good luck over there :)

  4. Good luck Stella in Tokyo!! I'm proud and inspired of your decision to get out of the comfort zone!

  5. if you just want to go there to learn the dark, bad, and negative side of that country and just come back to mock it, then maybe in the first place, you should've never ever go there you idiot