Worse For The Better, Happy Birthday to My Self

September 13, 2015

Happy 23rd birthday to myself

Though in fact, it is quite the worst one so far.. Lemme share you the story
Anyway that's the cake that my young brother made for me. I only ate a little because I am trying to lose weight, but I appreciate the effort despite the lack of appearance

So, on Friday night 11th September. My friends and I decided to get drinks at Kuningan Bar. As most of you know, I usually stay indoor and dont really go out. This year after so many things happened to me, I listened to everyone's advice and believe that it's time to change myself

I had written a long post about this but in the end I deleted the post because in the end instead of talking about my personality stuff, the birthday itself has more stories

So I was drinking with some friends and we planned it at Loewy Kuningan as Elle recommends, however some of my guy friends wore sandals and they couldnt enter the bar. We moved to Lucy in The Sky but they forbid us as well until the point they realized, there were some shoes inside the car 
So after a long-traffic and walking, we finally had a table at Lucy around 11pm which is pretty late

A few days before, I changed my hair color into this warm brown color. I am bored with blonde and I want a change. Something subtle but still light enough. I havent got brown for soooo long and this is the first time I specifically ask for a red brown. I am usually an ash-defender so it's a new thing

On my 23rd birthday, I have made promise with my friends that I will try a lot of new things and get out of my comfort zone in a lot of ways

Shitty camera but we were in rush and when I took the FOTD it's all blur but better still put it cos I think I look gorgeous on it *kicked*
I mean, look at the nose!!! lol

I had promised my nutritionist that I would not drink because it would disturb my body change progress, so I ordered orange juice. Lychee martini is prop only
However as devil as my friends, they convinced me to drink a little on my birthday. So I waited until it hit midnight to take a gulp to satisfy them

However I have low tolerance with alcohol so I got tipsy very fast
Then they were like "you should try club too! Under the bar, they have a club"

And I was like, ok lets try it! It's Fable lol

I am not someone who visits Club. I read books at home and anti socializing and recently because of my personal life struggle, I hide inside my cave more and more. I realize I really have to change myself for the past few weeks. I talk to a lot of my friends and they said that I am too serious, too straight forward, too judgmental about things that is outside my zone, and too naive

In the end they're like "you should try a lot of things in life and stop thinking about too many things"

I am very logical thinker, and I think for long-term effect of what I do. Mostly I think super negatively because I am very turbulent, I never really go out from my straight path and always lead an almost impossible route for people these days. Which I was quite proud of that I do not do any stupid things. BUT, now I regret that I havent done any things in life

Somebody asked me long time ago, "what's the craziest thing you've ever done?"
Which I replied in silent

I am sure all of you have at least one or two crazy things in youth, but truthfully the answer is no for me. Despite my slutty appearance [yes I admit it], I am too boring in person lol

Therefore after bar, we went to club because my guy friends want me to try talking to guys at the club wtf lol We met some of my friends' friends there and in fact the club is not my place
I dont know the music played, I dont enjoy music and dance, I dont like smoking, I hate crowded place, and I honestly really hate to be groped by stranger FML

HOWEVER I tried to enjoy it because I know I have shut myself in too much. So I tried talking to some of them for like a moment before I realize, that I lost my phone . .

I shouted at my friends and we started panicking. It's Sony Z3 and quite new. They tried calling the phone but it's turned off, and we looked on the floor and at the bar but we couldnt find it. It's stolen

Being as tired and as panic as we were, we decided to go back home. My friends were so apologetic about this case and even one insist to buy me a new one but I was like, no. I didnt reject the club invitation and I think club's dangerous so it's my fault for not being careful
However they said they'd been going like A LOT, ofc more than myself but it's me who got stollen lol I guess it means that I am just not fit to be a club girl LOLOL

We quickly drove back to my home to activate my prey, it's an application to track missing phone. I have locked my phone from my laptop and tried this and that to get any clue for the phone, however the chance is slim to retrieve it back

I tried laughing it off but I am phoneless and I have to buy another phone when in fact I am saving to get myself a new camera lens. More expense and I am so stressed

At that time I was thinking of my attachment to the phone. I had no dangerous pictures and the musics are mostly installed on my pc. I can retrieve the numbers from my provider as well and most of my contacts are on LINE and I can get it back when I have new phone. Pictures are usually inside my camera and laptop. The only attachment is that I have played Line Pop until level 300 or more with 99% gold coins but now I have to restart it again if I use it

At that time I realize there's not much things to lose
Sure I lose the money but I let it go

And in fact, I dont know. Maybe it's a good thing if I lose my phone. I have been too stressed with my phone for the past few weeks. I keep checking it on and my life was disturbed and maybe it is a good time to take a break from phone for a while
Besides I am not even sure which phone I should buy next

So I will be phoneless for a while, until I decide to get one

After a horrendous night, the day after is the birthday party itself with very very limited number of friends. The decoration itself is very lovely and organised by Great Event Organizer.

Everything is decorated beautifully

Shall you need EO for your special day, care to check them out?

Long time reader would have recognized the name

My friend Tara baked me a cake, eaten by me before I screamed in silence. I apologize, there's just too much calories going on and I am so paranoid at the moment. lol I thought it's a baked pie but in fact it's a cheese cake with peach on top, because I love peach

Other friends brought me some lovely birthday presents and they said that it's too difficult to buy me presents because I already have any things that I want that they can afford #BloggerPerks

My best friend Jessica got me a bag and another bestie Ai got me a perfume. Those two are in red color and I am surprised of how they know that I prefer red over black these days. They said it's because I have too many blacks hahaha

And anyway, Anggi and her sister Dea who's also my bestie brought me unexpected gifts. La Senza underwears WTF

They got me a bunch of under wears and I was like "what do I need this for?"


Ok best thing is yes, no body gonna sponsor me underwear, and in fact I wont accept one either Hahahaha

Anyway you could see my under eye bag, it's too dark #scared

So another accident happened again, I had lack of sleep because of my phone and I had to wake up very early to prepare for a lot of things as well. Also there's some troubles in life and such on the day, and I was very powerless already to talk and move. Then when I was busy taking the pictures and stand on the chair, I fell down and hit my head. Not only I fell with my head, I bump my elbow and thigh and now it's bruising so bad

The worst thing is, the day after my birthday I have a beauty demo and I cannot move my right hand properly
I am already super mad and upset because bad things keep happening and to be honest, these two are only the two things that I could tell you. So yes, there are more

Right now even typing this is painful and difficult for me and I dunno why I feel miserable
My friends love me and I know they do, I appreciate they ALL come all the way down to celebrate my birthdaybut I just cant help feeling sad about my life this year because it's a tough one. It's all piled up and the peak is on my birthday where I had to hurt my self and lose a phone

I also realized of how I lack in many things and I tried to analyze every little thing to fix it. Two of my friends who happened to live nearby stayed until midnight with me to listen to my story and give me another insight. In fact everyone had told me their advices during different times and I really appreciate it

Now I'll list things I have to do from now on

  • Stop over thinking
  • Be less straight, sometimes circling path is not bad
  • Try to get out from my comfort zone
  • Interact with people more
  • Be more selfish for myself
  • Understand that the world doesnt consist with only black and white
  • Be more chill toward everything
  • Have more confidence about me
  • Value myself more
  • Try to get rid of my intimidating aura that scares people off

Welcoming my 23rd years old with so many goals to be done
I'll fix my personality and my body. I've been wanting to get abs for a week LOLOLOL And I hope the motivation is not only "anget anget tai ayem"

See you guys on my next post!

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