Why You Have to be Happy First

June 27, 2017


Back then I would prioritise the happiness of people around me first. It is because I felt by making them smile would give me a great joy, and it is a human's responsibility anyway. Some friends have mentioned that I was a people pleaser as well and I had been trying so hard to keep everything around me in perfect harmony. I didn't think it was a problem because afterall, someone who prioritises themselves over other people must be a selfish person right?

But I have realized that the real happiness won't be achieved if I am not content and happy first
Through months and months of up and down, I have come down to a conclusion that my personal happiness is more important than anything!

Let's think it this way

When you're happy, you create a good atmosphere wherever you go
When you're happy, you spread great energy and vibes that will affect people
When you're happy, you have positive mind that can help giving feedback to people
When you're happy. you will find any problems solvable 
When you're happy, you smile more and make people smile
When you're happy, you won't have time to be depressed over someone else's happiness
When you're happy, you don't have time to be jealous with anyone's achievements
When you're happy, you're not going to be sensitive when your friends open any topics
When you're happy, you don't need to spend money on materialistic things to run away from reality
And so on . . 


Those things above won't come true if I put someone else over me first. Why? Because I will work hard and keep thinking I have to give my best while losing the sight of what's truly important. But how far an effort is enough to feel enough? 

Let me tell you a little story. I once had a really well-planned trip with my family because I wish for them to enjoy it. But it stressed me out and I ended up being the tour guide instead of "a family member that should enjoy it as it is"
My intention is good and up to now I still think I am a good daughter for wanting nothing but the best for them. However I didn't enjoy it genuinely as there's no portion or time for me to have fun. I was too busy taking care of them to the point I couldn't enjoy the trip. The trip turned out to be bad for whatever wrong reasons, and one of the causes is because I put too much effort on someone else instead of me

I was not that unhappy. But I was not happy either
There might be other examples and maybe you have your own story to tell as well, but my point is, when you're prioritising other people, you might not be able to see what really matters for them

The people that hold you dear want nothing but your own happiness as well, it's the same feeling like what you have towards them. So by making yourself happy first, you have already made them happier! 
How come you can give someone a bread if you don't even have a bread? 




If you're genuinely a happy person, even when you eat a really bad food in a restaurant you can just laugh it off and talk with your friend about maybe the chef has bad day. But when you're not happy, you will be mad towards the restaurant and the chef while having all the emotions mixed inside of you. Next, you will just grumble and complain to your friend, making the whole dinner turn even worse. See where it goes?

Your reaction is affected by your mood. And when you're a really happy person, you can drag the unhappy person to somewhat slightly happy (if being a totally happy person is asking too much lol)


I am not saying that you should just think about YOU YOU YOU, but I am saying let's chill out, you've done well, and it won't hurt to relax a bit and enjoy the time goes by
Being happy is easier to be said than done, but let's all find little things to be happy and grateful for, and spread the happiness

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