It seems that this year is one of my worst years

All the bad stuffs keep happening to me one by one, and sometimes, altogether at once

Like I said before that I had a huge heart break in Bali. And after that my phone's stolen while in fact it's a newly bought. Worse thing is that it's gift from my mom and I hardly receive stuffs from my parents for the past few years, so it means a lot. But nobody can live without their phone, so I got a new phone, which means I had to spend money on unnecessary case

The next thing that comes to me is my laptop broke down, I lost the data and I had to replace the hard disk again. Costed me a lot as it's within the same month with my phone's stolen case

Next I tried to run away to Bali-Lombok as a breather, but instead of becoming happy, I feel wasted instead haha. The place itself is nice and I'd love to come back with my friends [especially Lombok], but there were many things going on at that time that makes me hating Bali. Anggy said, the only time I had REAL fun in Bali was last year during my birthday LOL

Which is kinda true.. 

Companionship during a trip is the most important thing. Last year I was in Bali with my best friend, and although I had sunburn and spent much money, I was happy with it! This year is like what lol So next time, I'll just go on a trip with my bestie lol

And when I came back from Bali, a few days later my Instagram got hacked

My friends who saw me being super patient and never get mad for real [well, I do ramble and grumble a lot, but a real MADNESS doesnt come out easily], were shocked. 

Remember my phone incident? I was there with one of my best friends of 10 years, he kept apologizing to me because he brought me to club that I lost my phone. And he felt super guilty because I was not mad but instead joked about it

When I met fucked up guy, he assisted me all along and he knew how that guy was the worst jerk in history, and he's surprised that I didnt fight back and scratch him. Instead what I did was calling it as a "valuable experience" so I would be smarter in the future. 

So, when I snapped about my hacked Instagram account. All these bad things keep piling up and I just hate it, I couldn't stand it. He finally saw my anger and was terrified. He's an IT student and he helped me recovering and protecting everything during this incident. He even could hack the hacker back and we almost did it

He asked me, "what would you do if you found her?"

Which I replied that I would shave her head, humiliate her in front of her parents and neighbourhood, put her face online and newspaper so her life's ruined, and do all the bad things I can to take my revenge

I knew that Instagram could give it back to me, however it might take time. I heard someone only retrieve it back after 6 months or so. I cant possibly wait that long!

Other friends tried to calm me down by saying that what I would do was a crime, and instead of thinking that's a crime, I was reminded indirectly that I am a Christian

On Sunday, I went to church and I begged for His forgiveness, for having bad thoughts regarding the person that ruining my career. This is not the first time somebody tried to sabotage my career, there are TONS of it. I know that I am not perfect either and though I did nothing in real life to sabotage their life as well, I know that my mind is full of dirty thoughts

Being a Christian or a religious or spiritualist person doesn't make you a good person instantly. It is a process, and usually we're tested more than the others. I used to think "OMG why that person still did this and that when he/she's going to church / mosque / temple"

In fact it put me lower than the person that I was talking about

Instead, church / mosque / temple are for sinners who want to rely on God. It doesn't mean I am perfect neither everyone else who take a visit. But we're weak, we're sinner, we're hopeless, so we ask for His help

Thinking about that matter, I think the hacker and me are equal. She might hate me and wants my life to be miserable. And so do I. However I believe I know revenge wont solve anything and I pray that her soul finds enlightment to stop doing bad things

Making somebody's life miserable wont give you a true happiness

I will be the bigger person and not trying to take revenge. In fact she attacks my account multiple times as well but I think it's going fine now. If you read this, I just want to say that I forgive you. So let's be good?

And do you guys know, when I forgive my hater and not seek any revenge, I feel in peace

Suddenly I can forgive any guys in my life that are fucked up

Suddenly I forgive all those haters in the past who tried to sabotage my career but never succeed

Suddenly I forgive the one that stole my phone

Suddenly I think I step up on this game of life

What doesn't kill you make you stronger

Finished church at 3 pm, Instagram gave me email at 5pm and recovered my account. All is well through forgiveness

Suddenly all the obstacles that I have faced this year become like small stones. I neither feel mad or upset about it anymore. Forgiving someone is in fact not only making peace with the other person, but more to yourself personally

When you forgive and have no anger, everything's just so bright suddenly

So my question is,

have you forgiven? :)