Friday, December 7, 2012

Contradiction


My life is always full of contradiction
It is inside, mostly..

Somehow I even ask,
is my blood really B? It is supposed to be AB




I am sharing a little bit of me now
I notice that in the past year, I talk about my life less and less,
because I treasure what's called privacy.. As I feel the more I open my life to public, the more people will be nosy, and judgemental. Not to mention that so many people spread rumor that's untrue

It is very good quote "It is better to be hated for someone that you are than loved for someone you are not" and I can accept that I have so many flaws as human, and if someone dont like me for the way I am, I accept it whole-heartedly
But mostly, I am hated for being someone who I am not lol too many rumors going on and I can tell 99.99% are untrue hahaha. Not even bother to step out as I have something better to do, but also because "believe what you see, and experience"


because it's a long post, those who hate reading a lot of words should skip this post xD because there are almost no pictures in this post lol



My physical appearance may give you a bad image about myself wtf
In fact I am okay! Because if I see someone dress up like me, I will probably think of her like what you think of myself too [what-the-hell-I-am-talking-about]

In fact, it is also funny because my appearance is very different than what most of you think of! 
My style has always been different since I was teenager.. And I caught lotsa attention cos of my hair.. So there are soooo many people think of me badly hahaha and I am really okay with that. I am confused about myself too, so how come you are not?

Okay let's reveal some of them =



1. I am more into indoor type instead of outdoor type

I love reading, or drawing, or writing, or watching movies.. A lot of people think that I love going to party or clubbing, I only did clubbing once in KL for Nuffnang party, cos I was curious with how teenagers really have fun these days. and I also asked my mom's permission first lol I feel something bad will happen if I do something without her permission :x Do I like clubbing? It was okay, if it's having someone's birthday party in the future I wouldn't mind. but I would rather sleeping at home -v- I am not particularly interested . .

Once, when I just met a random guy, he suddenly asked me "hey Stella, let's have a party at XX tonight!" and I refused politely "I do not club" and he replied "WHAT!! Are you serious?? You're no fun"

And I was poker faced -___-

Also there's one guy that's surprised when I said I was still a virgin la. And he put unbelievable face, and said "how come you're still a virgin with your style?"

And I was seriously..... dunno what to say -_-

I know probably some people assume me as a party girl considering my style but seriously??? Not like it's their fault though.. I am probably just the weird one



2. I am a "whatever" girl

It is probably my best and worst point? When some problems hit me, I can just go "whatever la~" and then continue living.. Not caring about single thing. But it can also affect bad, because when I had bad score for an exam, I would just go "ah whatever" and started my games again -_-

Also my brother won't go to school if his uniform isn't neatly ironed... But when mom had no time to iron my uniform, I could just walk to school with untidy uniform and I didn't even care LOL

I do not really keep anger or what. If I do not like someone I will just block or leave her away.. I do not have grudge, as I am in fact very "whatever" person.. There are some people that I dislike la, but I never hate anyone. It just, you know, "you cant stand some people with this type".. Like you prefer to be friend with noisy or quiet type, or you prefer to have friend who's studying a lot or party hard

Sure there are also a few people who hurt me in the past, been living for 20 years obviously had bad moments as well la lol and worse are if they used to be friends or closest one. Got heartache la of course, but still, I will just move forward and say "okay whatever" and leave it behind

I think it is also the main reason I can survive living in Jakarta. So many people say they cannot bear the stare of people when looking at you. And to be honest, I have it all the time with my blonde hair. But in fact, I "whatever" them so it doesnt matter for me o__o
My friends who were walking with me were the one who couldnt stand it and usually told me "ei, you're being looked at" and I was like "uh, really? didn't notice, ah whatever" LOL







3. I do not wear make up all the time!

Just because I am a beauty blogger, it doesnt mean that I wear gazillions make up everyday lol I wear full make up only to party or photoshoot. As for everyday, I only wear sunblock!
And if I meet clients or presentation or what, I just use super natural make up o.o
No no, sorry.. I do not wear thick false eyelashes to univ.. Don't imagine it lol
I only wear make up when I need to review products. The rest of it, I let my skin rest la!

A lot of people question my skin condition considering that I review a lot of make up so obviously I wear so much make up in real. But in fact if you notice, I often review different stuffs. Not all foundation, not all powders, not all primers. But I mix it with hair, lips [the easiest to review], cheek, etc.

Sure there are some consequences, but good things come with bad things la.. I know my limit though, if I have skin problem at that time, I delay the review.. I also cancel my circle lens sponsorship because my eyes are too tired to wear it everyday hahaha, prefer glasses! More comfy!




4. I used to hate make up

I was, a tomboy..? I felt make up was itchy and fake.. so I hated it.. I never thought that I could become someone in this industry, it is, not my past self.. I started wearing make up when I was 12/13 though, but it's only eyeliner.. But before that, I totally despise it

okay.. I wanted to become a mangaka before.. it's my dream. I guess most of you know about it... But I also have other dreams la.. Nope, I never want to be doctor, nurse, pilot, police, teacher, etc. Professions that most children will pick. I was, quite strange? -_-


I used to want to be *uhuk*.. an archeologist..
I am interested with pyramid and egypt, for me, it's magical, and enchanting..
I watched like a lot of documentaries about Egypt culture and it is very pleasant for me. I cant understand why the old culture can be that amazing. The people were so smart!
My dream was to find a mummy and get the treasures buried, and become rich after ward -_-

But I read Goosebumps book and decided to leave that dream, because the book said I could die from the mummy curse LOL! But I still find Egyptian Culture very interesting, I used to borrow Encyclopedia from libraries, yes the thick books lol and read it at home. I also spend a lot of my time reading articles about Egypt and my favorite site at night is in fact wikipedia -_- I spend a lot of time reading informations from there, jump to one page and another


I read a lot about Egypt, UFO, Bermuda Triangle, Illuminati Case, etc. Okay I read a lot of weird things -_- but it just sparks my curiosity, for real


Oh also, before I made youtube about make up tutorial, in fact I wanted to create comedy channel instead, like Ryan Higa or Kevjumba omg xD Now I totally destroy my image! ahahaha
Not like I want to be a comedian, but I find it entertaining to make a comedy video and make someone laugh :D 
But because no one wanna acts with me, so it's still not realized.. Maybe next time? *hopes*
Now you guys notice why my blog is full of useless jokes -_-"
Maybeeee... one day you will see me acting at OVJ.. Maybe~ 




5. Mostly people assume me money-spender, and a rich girl
And this is probably the best rumor ever.. and I have heard it over and over and over, till I am fed up with it lol
I believe you all think of me shopping a lot, eating at expensive restaurant, riding branded car wherever I go, only have branded items, never think about economic problem, and so on
But my friends will laugh at you
I am probably the most cheap skate girl ever.. 
I am very money-wise, and my favorite phrase in real is in fact "EXPENSIVE!" till most of my friends are annoyed with me lol

I'd rather eat at home, and save money. I also have been working since I was 13? 
MLM, Online Shops, marketing, etc..
I heard there are some people who say they hate me cos I look like rich girl who never feels human hardship LOL omg funny... 


Oh and let me show you the most visible proof of me being such a money-saver



I wear sendal jepit and ride motorcycle to my campus to save money -_-''



now stella lee's image is destroyed completely LOL

Ok, if u say I am rich, I will just say AMEN and hope it will come true.. But seriously, countless times I have said it, I worked hard to pay for my stuffs.. My overseas trips, my laptop, my phone, etc.. All are paid by myself.. Not like my family is poor so we only eat rice once a week no.. -_-"
But I am not as rich as you guys think of.. Of course I have car la, but I only use it occasionally

If I WERE rich, I would have gone to japan years ago, could just ask my dad to pay and TADAAAA it's done! o.o

But life isn't as simple as that.. Not everyone is blessed with Paris Hilton wealth..
I remember a good quote


"If you're born poor, it's not your fault. But if you're dead poor, then it's your fault"



Okay I always talk too much when I speak my opinion.. But after all, those are some omg facts about me.. Which you probably never know before..
Although I wish for you to keep reading my blog after this, but there are some secrets that's better unknown, and probably you may think it is better to not know this secret lol



Also there are a lot of things that obviously I cannot tell to everyone. Everyone has their own secret la.. And I also want some part of myself to be only known by my close friends :)



But I tried my best to show happy things in this blog, because I know that most of you are tired with your real life and want to have a little leisure time when reading my blog. You want to find fun
Who wants to read a blog when the owner only writes about every bad things about her and ask people to pity herself?


And if my blog can give at least a little happiness from your tiring world, then I am glad to stay alive

Now it's up to you again to believe what you see or what you hear, or what you experience :D 

6 comments:

nourash said...

oh ,,,calmdown stella ,,dont worry about what people say about you you still nice and good person your family and close friend will know you fery well ...fighting

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miss ripleys said...

I was, a tomboy..?
dulu emang tomboy kan ? wkt masih dandan ala vkei gt gayanya model2 jrocker lol, makanya sempet kaget jg, ini bener yg seira bkn sih ? eh ternyata bener ^^

yah dulu emang tomboy tpi skrg seiring dgn berkembangnya waktu pasti berubah kan ? times change people change dan blablablabla~
so just be ur self~

ga usah di ladenin lah org mau ngemeng apa, yg jelas ttp jdi diri sdri sj,, okay seira eh stella :P

ps: lebih suka mgl seira ketimbang stella *lol*

Anonymous said...

love your hair colour, may I know what kind of product you used for it? :)

Anonymous said...

at some point, kita punya kesamaa, baca wikipedia, dan baca yg aneh2 utk memuaskan dahaga penasaran :D

chairia wantania said...

Owa... aku berharap suatu saat aku bisa ketemu kamu langsung xoxo
Aku ini selalu coba makeup, tp mungkin karena ga ahli, keliatannya malah ancur..
Sometimes, can you make a wnew tutorial that... bring one of your friend that she has a boyish face, and makeover her to be a ferminime girl *sorry for the bad grammar and vocab* :')
Karena aku bisa dibilang muka ku kayak coqok, begitupun dengan body ku.
I also wish that you can do some makeover to me.. QWQ

Semoga dibaca! XD I'm your new followers ! (/o)/yeay
Sukses terus ! :) ^_^

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